A-holes

They look so sweet, too.

I never thought my kids would become a-holes so young. I mean, I know that a lot of people say that toddlers are a-holes but I thought that was kind of, you know, they are always needing and wanting things and they are really noisy about it, a-holes in that kind of way. But no, they can just be so mean. The kids have just gone two and their language is pretty good from what I can tell. They have this brand-new superpower but what do they do with it? They use it for evil.

When I was a kid, my parents used to sing me the rainbow song all the time. I started singing it to the kids a few months ago now they’re learning their colours. They love it! It’s so beautiful when that happens, when you get to pass along something that meant a lot to you. A song, perhaps, your parents sung to you when they were young parents themselves, sung it over and over again and hearing it still makes you remember the feeling of being cocooned in their affection. I got pretty misty-eyed the first time one of the bubbies (Juney, I think) sung it with me, let me tell you. They sing it quite often now. The other day we were driving to the beach and they started singing in the back seat.

*

SCENE: Family car trip to the beach

Nora (singing): red and yellow and pink and green

June (joins in ): purple and orange and blue

Nora and Juney: I can sing a rainbow! Sing a rainbow! Sing a rainbow too. Listen with your eyes, listen with your eyes, sing everything you see.

(Mummy joins in)

Nora, Juney and Mummy: You can sing a rainbow! Sing a – 

Nora: (stops) No. Mummy no sing.

Me: What? Why can’t I sing too? I’m allowed to sing if I want to.

Nora (insistently): Mummy no sing!

Me (to barnaby): You know, the next line is “sing along with me”? That’s really rubbing salt in the wound, isn’t it?

Kids (resume singing): red and orange and pi – 

(I join in and so does Barnaby, in what I charitably assume is a show of support for me and not just to stir the pot. Nora immediately stops)

Nora: Mummy and Daddy no sing!

Me: I can sing if I want to!

Nora (singing angrily): Nora and Juney can sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow! Nora and Juney can sing a rainbow, too!

*

I gave up after that.

So yeah they’re total a-holes already, but at least they make me laugh.

Published by Tara

I'm a kiwi stay-at-home mum of three year old twins. Life's changed a lot for me in the last few years and I've discovered all these words flowing through my veins and racing out my fingertips. The tone of this blog is uneven, I know, but I'm not trying to "build a brand" here. I just want to write and to learn how to write and to be free to write anything in any style I fancy. I like cooking and eating, plants and gardening, animation and manga, graphic novels and jogging and walking in the forest and splashing in the ocean. I used to travel and walk strange streets and then I had kids and I pushed them in the pram, up and down the same roads, day after day after day. Now the kids are getting too big for the pram and I wonder who I'll be next.

2 thoughts on “A-holes

  1. Commenting on the in car singing. My kids would admonish ‘Don’t sing, DON”T SING.” I thought it was just me but now it appears that it is just one magical stage of childhood.

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  2. When my daughter was younger (she is 10 now) people would ask me how old she was and then tell me what a sweet age it was. When they said that, I thought about how she was doing and saying the kind of stuff your twins were doing/saying. I’d smile politely in response, but thought those people were all insane. Now I have a 10 year old who is going on 15 who has regular mood swings and is still embarrassed by my singing and all I can remember now is how cute that age was lol

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