They look so sweet, too.

I never thought my kids would become a-holes so young. I mean, I know that a lot of people say that toddlers are a-holes but I thought that was kind of, you know, they are always needing and wanting things and they are really noisy about it, a-holes in that kind of way. But no, they can just be so mean. The kids have just gone two and their language is pretty good from what I can tell. They have this brand-new superpower but what do they do with it? They use it for evil.

When I was a kid, my parents used to sing me the rainbow song all the time. I started singing it to the kids a few months ago now they’re learning their colours. They love it! It’s so beautiful when that happens, when you get to pass along something that meant a lot to you. A song, perhaps, your parents sung to you when they were young parents themselves, sung it over and over again and hearing it still makes you remember the feeling of being cocooned in their affection. I got pretty misty-eyed the first time one of the bubbies (Juney, I think) sung it with me, let me tell you. They sing it quite often now. The other day we were driving to the beach and they started singing in the back seat.


SCENE: Family car trip to the beach

Nora (singing): red and yellow and pink and green

June (joins in ): purple and orange and blue

Nora and Juney: I can sing a rainbow! Sing a rainbow! Sing a rainbow too. Listen with your eyes, listen with your eyes, sing everything you see.

(Mummy joins in)

Nora, Juney and Mummy: You can sing a rainbow! Sing a – 

Nora: (stops) No. Mummy no sing.

Me: What? Why can’t I sing too? I’m allowed to sing if I want to.

Nora (insistently): Mummy no sing!

Me (to barnaby): You know, the next line is “sing along with me”? That’s really rubbing salt in the wound, isn’t it?

Kids (resume singing): red and orange and pi – 

(I join in and so does Barnaby, in what I charitably assume is a show of support for me and not just to stir the pot. Nora immediately stops)

Nora: Mummy and Daddy no sing!

Me: I can sing if I want to!

Nora (singing angrily): Nora and Juney can sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow! Nora and Juney can sing a rainbow, too!


I gave up after that.

So yeah they’re total a-holes already, but at least they make me laugh.

Published by Tara

I'm a stay-at-home mum of two year old twins, based in Lower Hutt, New Zealand. Life's changed a lot for me in the last two and half years and most of the things I do now are new to me, so I'd hesitate to describe myself as anything else, but I'm also keen on (in a very amateurish way) cooking, writing and gardening. I like to read manga and if I ever get a chance to watch a movie then I gravitate towards animation, which holds my imagination forever. I used to read books but these days I find it buggers up my writing - still searching for my own voice I suppose. I used to like tramping and also travel but currently have to be satisfied with the week away every summer that is all we have the money and energy for. As this small vacation with two toddlers takes almost as much intensive planning (and way more packing-related stress) than the six months we spent in Europe, more would probably kill me anyway. We've also just bought our first home, which we plan to renovate into a two-dwelling property so my nearly retired parents can come and live with us. This experiment in multi-generational living is completely uncharted waters for all of us but we're optimists at heart so we're not...too...worried.

One thought on “A-holes

  1. Commenting on the in car singing. My kids would admonish ‘Don’t sing, DON”T SING.” I thought it was just me but now it appears that it is just one magical stage of childhood.


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